From Our Vaults
These are actual responses we have received from our readers over the years.  
Now our emails are here for your voyeuristic pleasure.
The emails below are unedited any errors were contained in the original emails.

Give us more gory pictures of rotting carcasses

What the hell is wrong with you?

We know.

Important point YOU forgot:

We don't care...

It is my idea that people find the coincidences they want to find.  Let me give you an analogy:
Mark made a spice rack in woodshop.  Jesus was a carpenter.
Therefore: Mark is Jesus.

Stephen Bowman

By the way... NO. 

Thanks 
Ron G

Don't call us, we'll call you.

found you site by accident, and I love it. Am slowly reading all the infobits. As Phillip the Macedonian is my personal hero, I love the stuff about Alexander.

About your God stuff. Please be careful here. God does, absolutely, unquestionably exist and I have had the great honor to have met him, which probably ranks me with Attila the Hun, Muhammed, Zoarathustra, and looney tunes. (we will go with the last one) Nonetheless, give me a moment. (must we?)

Life is miraculous. It is against all the laws of entropy. Even if a hot soup did spring from nothing, by what power would life "evolve", when entropy is a visable universal law. Systems break down, they do not evolve into wonderful and virtually unimaginable complexities of lifeforms. Life is beyond improbable, it is impossible to explain, were it not for the very fact that life is what the creation is about. A theatre for the souls to experience & play in.... (Can someone tell me what this guy is talking about?)

So be careful what you say. You cannot find God in a Church, Mosque, Temple, or anything else you can think of. Religions are built for God...Anyhow, to rake religion is only truth, but to deny God is virtual suicide. (this letter makes me want to "deny him") Still, it is not a good idea to try to teach a pig to sing, as it wastes your time and irritates the pig. So I will say no more.

Love your site.

Lee Martz

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance...baffle them with bullshit.

You page is excellent. It was the first page which gave me a bit more information on Jake Guzik, who has been of geneological interest to me. Well Jake happens to be my deceased mother's first cousin, and his only living relative in the U.S. at the time of his death. In the 1950s when I was in my teens, the Illinois Attorney General representative were searching for mother for some reason but failed in their attempt. They did however contact my Guzik cousins in N.E. PA but my mothers whereabouts were not revealed, although she lived a few blocks away and used her marriage name. Their purpose in searching for my mother has bugged Jake's living US second cousins, which includes myself. I do know that Jake spent one night when he was on the lamb in our house in PA. My mother told him only one night only.
Now your article says he was born in Moscow--tis not so. Whatever his records state he was born in Galicia (at that time it was under the Austro-Hungarian Empire and is Polish, essentially he is from a small village south of Cracow. His father is my uncle. His being Jewish was a suprise to us. I read this from a book published on infamous Jewish of Chicagoland. If he were Jewish, his father certainly wasn't. Do you know if he had an estate of whatever value when he died and could, in your opinion, this be the reason the Illnois authorities were looking for my mother. Thanks for taking you time. Enjoyed your page.

Tom K

What?  We didn't read anything past "your page is excellent."
(You have to give this guy some credit... his story is too convoluted to be made up.)

He is your great great uncle once removed on your father's mother's  side. 
Now that you know, you life is probably now complete, and you can stop
asking stupid questions of people that really don't care about your family.

I really feel that his response to that was absolutely GREAT:

Thanks for the information, but you don't have to be an asshole.  What the
fuck crawled up your bitter ass?  Excuse me for using a public domain that
openly invites questions and comments.  By the way, it is impossible for him
to be related to me on my father's mother's side, so maybe you should get
your shit straight before you start acting like you're such hot shit
einstein.
 

The fact that he felt the need to JUSTIFY that my answer just could not be correct, even though I really just pulled it out of my ass was just perfect.

Although we aren't sure what you want, we do know that you have been watching too much Back To The Future.

Two questions.
What made it conspiracy? and What are you smoking?

Here is what we wrote up about the "Lizard Race:"

As everyone who lives in a cabin in Montana already knows,  Freemasons run this country, and rule the rest of our Hemisphere in conjunction with Quebec Gnomes. Therefore, the question that remains to be answered is who rules the other portions of our planet?  After several diligent hours of research and a trip to the titty bar I am now ready to present my theory over who controls Europe… the shape-shifting psychic Lizards from planet 5964 of the Widis Galaxy.

In 1862 a Lizard spaceship crashed in French territory that was under the supervision of a secret society of Zurich Midgets. The spaceship was a tanker carrying fuel to the distant Lizard colony, and the reason behind the crash was a drunken captain. The Midgets quickly allied themselves with the Lizards, since the Lizards were only five feet tall. The Lizards, for their part, were impressed with planet Earth and agreed that it must be added to the Lizard Protectorate.

In 1864 the colonization fleet arrived and made landings at: Bavaria, England, and Russia. Or to be more precise:  Munich, Essex, and Tsaritsyn.  In Bavaria, the Lizards came into contact with the secret society of Illuminati, in England they encountered the Masons, and in Russia they met total lack of civilization.  In 1865, Lizards assisted the Zurich Midgets in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, who as we know was very, very tall. The American Freemasons, who were very angry at this, instructed their English colleagues to destroy the Lizards, but after a series of complex power plays, the English Masons broke with Americans and became a member of the triple Alliance together with Lizards and Midgets.  In 1900 this Alliance destroyed the Bavarian Illuminati. The Illuminati were broken into Thuringian Scouts, Iron Guard Movement, and Thule Society.  In 1914, the Alliance decided to expand their power and precipitated a World War.  In 1917, Alliance was very surprised that Lenin’s Russian revolution occurred, since none of them officially sponsored it. English Masons blamed the Lizards, who in turn were highly suspicious of the Midgets. Although the Midgets did provide some funds to Lenin, the bulk of Lenin’s money came from the Thuringian Scouts, who wanted to create a new alliance in Eastern Europe to oppose the Alliance of the West. After a long and bitter conflict, the Alliance disintegrated due to suspicion and lack of trust among the participants.

At the end of World War 1, Thule Society discovered a talented paper hanger with one testicle and after changing his name from Schicklegrubber to Hitler, threw their support behind his takeover of Germany. The Thuringian Scouts concentrated on supporting Stalin in Russia (following the assassination of Lenin by an agent of the Midgets). The Iron Guard Movement went underground in preparation for new and sinister plans. The Zurich Midgets threw their considerable monetary support behind the Italian fascist Benito Mussolini, who as we know was very, very short. English Masons declared war on American Freemasons, and were promised help by the Lizards. During a crucial battle for control of American Presidency, the Lizards betrayed the English Masons and supported their enemies. As the result of this last minute change of alliances, the English Masons were wiped out. In 1923, Lizards assisted the Zurich Midgets in getting Mussolini in power, while secretly supporting Thuringian’s candidacy of Stalin. In 1941, Lizards precipitated war between Russia, Germany and Italy to destroy the Thuringian Scouts, Thule Society and the Zurich Midgets. During the war, Zurich Midgets and Thule Society briefly allied together to depose Thuringian Scouts, but did not know that Lizards secretly were shipping weapons to the Scouts. To make the long story short, Thule Society was wiped out in Germany along with Hitler, Mussolini was killed by Midgets for failing to live up to their promises, and Stalin (with some help from Lizards) turned on his Thuringian supporters and had them eliminated.

Zurich Midgets, for some reason or another, allied themselves again with Lizards. Together they assassinated Stalin in 1953 (officially recorded as death by natural causes, but we know better!) to put Nikita Khrushchev into power in Russia, who as we know was very, very short.. and bald & fat & stupid.  Next, Lizards betrayed the Zurich Midgets during the Cuban Missile Crisis, by supporting American Freemasons’ backed President Kennedy. In the power struggle that followed, Zurich Midgets were destroyed by their own failures and traitors that infiltrated their organization. The remnants of Midgets had no choice but to leave Europe and relocate into Canada, thus forming the above mentioned Quebec Gnomes. In Europe it appeared that Lizards were the only powerful secret society left. Contrary to popular rumors, the Lizards did not participate in the Kennedy Assassination. However, they were responsible for the second term of the Reagan presidency as part of an overall attempt to destroy America.

In 1986, the completely forgotten Iron Guard Movement came back roaring with a vengeance. They unleashed an instrument of terror so horrendous that to look upon it would rip the very sinew of your soul; they called their dark creation – "Howard the Duck". American Freemasons were not prepared for this, and were forced to make an alliance with Quebec Gnomes to stop this terrifying weapon from spreading more chaos than it already caused. For their part, Lizards of Planet 5964 of Widis Galaxy did not know how to react, on the one hand the terror was only affecting Americans, on the other the instigators of this new tool of fear were located in Europe… technically their domain. Lizards temporized, they offered assistance to American Freemasons, but did not move against Iron Guard. In 1989, Lizards paid for their arrogance when the Iron Guard Movement released a new weapon of mass destruction so awful that it nearly ruptured the very fabric of space and time with the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity – Debbie Gibson.  Even the Lizards were disturbed by the utter lack of talent and complete tone deafness of Debbie, and quickly moved in to dismember and destroy Iron Guard Movement.

I would tell you what happened in the last decade, but I just don’t trust you enough for now to reveal that kind of information.

Bad Larry!  Bad Bad Larry!

In another message she writes:
regarding paltalk and or Jason Katz...i have some information on
these as well as BADLARRY....would love to compare information ....

In case you want to email her: sorceruss@yahoo.com

Bad Larry!   Bad Bad Bad Larry!

i heart jeffrey dahmer

and Jeffrey hearts you, he hearts you so much that he drugs you, drills a hole in your forehead, and then hearts you some more.

I can't believe how people can kill other people for no reason at all.  Ihat even killing a fly sometime now a human.

I think getting people like you off the internet is a matter of more pressing urgency.

That is siick :) but it pleased me.

Chris

P.S. Do you have any others?

Very happy to have made you happy my good sir.  May Lucifer guard you all the rest of your days.

A contact for what?

i want u to link me, i want to become a MAFIA and own my organization, pls pls pls .

To link you to what?

Please i want u to link me to any MAFIA. Made DON.

I'd suggest another line of work for you.  Your lack of coherence and clarity could lead to some situations that you are quite unprepared for.  On second though, maybe that's just what the world needs; a few less idiots who can't find a spell check button to save their lives.

Just in case there is somebody out there that does know what this person wants, feel free to contact Walter at: walteronice@yahoo.com

Alas we never got the chance to give up our children because while on a cruise, a band of savage Taiwanese pirates shanghaied the boat and stole our children, intending to make them exotic prostitutes in the seediest back allies of Hong Kong.  Instead their ship sank and our babies died.
Se la vie.

Goddamn what an awful site! I mean how can some pissed off assholes like you write about all this shit? It's amazing to see how much you now about these persons. (When not remembering that half of your information is wrong or made up or whatever)I've also gone through your rant and some of your answers were really surprising concerning ways to improve this piece of shit called \"site\". I mean writing things like "we just don't care" and so on isn't cool and doesn't increase the size of your penis(keep tryin'!)But the worst thing you did was to call "Markus from Germany" a nazi! Just because he's from Germany doesn't mean he's one of yours! Just think about these things (I've you're able to) and when you've got you answer ready stick it up your ass.

Yours very sincerely

Cornelis Domensk

Hey, Cornelis.  That was the name of one of the chimps from Planet of the Apes.
Coincidence? I think not.

i was just wondering why under the list of serial killers charles manson was not listed.  not complaining, just wondering :)

You see, he's actually on there.  It's just that your computer is involved in a vast conspiracy to keep information away from you because if you were to magically grow a brain you'd be quite dangerous.

Gorge

What else would you like, Gorge?  A foot rub, a blow job, perhaps a naked Angelina Jolie dancing while raining hundred dollar bills over you?
Anything else you want?  Anything at all? 
After all, this website was created simply for your enjoyment.

yo i dont know what the fuck yall are thinking but that shit is a true story and i bet yall are thinking how would i know....well first off im Thomas Brown Heiwtt's 3rd cousin...the only thang that aint true in that movie is Thomas getting his arm cut of....him and my dad use to hang wiht each other whne dey was lil...so before yall say somehting aint true u need to go and find some shit out.....

Cool, did he fuck Jessica Beil?  I bet he did.  Yo, your 3rd cousin musta been da shit!

Why do you think we created this site, if not to help burgeoning mass murderers on their rocky road to infamy.

Yes, we are terribly brave aren't we.  Everyone knows that websites are conduits to a vast netherworld, ruled by the evil Lord Tampaxion who makes everyone have a period... FOREVER!!!

lauran wagner

Dear Lauran Wagner,

We regret to inform you that you are a garbled, incoherent idiot.  Please consider spell check and a brain in all your future endeavors

Have a nice day.

Read Lauran Wagner above.
Apply it.

No response needed... Gorpy.

You will never be accepted, so I guess that means you will never get it.  We are just too good for you.

What the hell is wrong with you people?
Have you attended church ONCE in your life?  Those suggested alternatives to the death penalty are morally wrong and abuse life.  Most people would rather die with their dignity than die working their ass off on a farm without pay.  Sex offender... Nail their dick to a tree?  what the hell... theres something call castration.....

Once you post something that inst complete in-your-face bullshit, i might look again.

Silly jack-ass.  God wrote this website while I was in a trance fueled by hours of crack use, gambling and rough sex with underage prostitutes.

I am sure that they sell Nazi uniforms at the surplus stores in Germany.  Maybe Markus from up above can help you out with that!

I've the e-mails people are sending to you, with a lot of usefull material.  MAybe you don't think so, but what the heck.. what's bothering me a little is.. When you reply to people's mails you somewhat offensive... Like calling the german dude a nazi.. and stuff like that!  But great site!

NO...... we are completely offensive.  Thing is, we don't care.  If you don't like it, click the 'X' in the top right corner of your screen.

Yes it is probably them.  Now that you know, they will probably come after you and your family.

Run..... Hide.... NOW!!!!!!!!

7 million dollars.
In all seriousness, how the fuck am I supposed to know.  I mean you can obviously use a computer, therefore I suggest you do a simple Google search and stop asking people to do your work for you.

Well, video games are the same as history books.  So I will surely take your suggestions seriously.

Seeing as how you can't even spell Shakespeare, I implore you to not attempt any foray into literature.

The angel of the gods appeared to me in a dream and filled me with all knowledge.  I even know where you live.

When the hawk flies at midnight, know that the fat man walks alone. *wink**wink*
Also, beware the Ides of March.